Hark! Oh what a day was had. This was truly the most
              overstimulating 24 hours of my life, yet the Ren Faire awaited!
              Got my dress from goodwill a few days prior and mangled together a
              unicorn horn the night of. Made the mistake of not sleeping but
              what else is new. Now to introduce our jolly band: a unicorn,
              Robin Hood, a fairy, big naturals Gandalf, and Sauron.
              
              
            
            
              
            
              I pregamed with a matcha, two celsius, and some hefty swigs of
              soju and off we went. What I love most is when everyone is in on
              the bit. Immediately we walk in and get sexually harassed by a
              serf and honestly I was all for it. The energy was great and got
              better as the day progressed and people were really feeling the
              mead. There were so many amazing costumes, especially the Tudor
              era guilds which I have a special affinity for. I tried on armor,
              watched the joust, gambled on turtle racing, caught some shows,
              got betrothed to a jester etc.
              
              
              Really the highlight of the day was my friend's Sauron costume.
              He's already a tree but with the ensemble on he couldn't go 5 feet
              without being stopped for a picture. It was really endearing
              seeing everyone so excited and plus I felt like Lebron's cousin
              getting to tag along without being bothered by all the attention.
              We left and I got this beautiful pastoral view:
              
              
              
              Yet the day is not over. We went for tacos but I had to uber back
              to go to a triple bday party (never got those damn tacos). It's
              me, E, K, and G driving up to the city for K+M+P's bday and
              immediately we're bombarded by M's strobe lights. Rest of the
              night is classic fare: drinks, drugs (someone brought a huge
              whippet container?), flix, pong, pizza. Lots of fun but I'm dead
              on my feet by the end of the night and pass out immediately.
              
            
              
            
          Today I saw Big Thief with my sisters. Sigh... I don't know what to think. I had a bit to drink so I was gonna have a good time nonetheless, but they didn't play my favorite songs; there wasn't even an encore. The vibes were good though and everyone was stupendously nice. Afterwards we had in-n-out, here is my order: well-done fries, no salt, add carmelized onions and spread.
              
            
          This is a broad recap of my birthday week. I went to Men I Trust with K as a sort of sub-in for her boyfriend. In-n-out, buzzball, and live music, such a perfect combo. Had sushi with K+E+T+C and a horrible night clubbing, had korean with Himi+Himiwife and movie night, had sushi again with baby, and had sushi AGAIN with family. No complaints here.
              
            
            
          
              Last night was truly an treacherous journey. One of the rare times
              we decide to bart up to the city and they shut down the trains....
              Jah and I ended up stranded in Oakland passing a cup of Screwball
              between us amidst the hoards of other lost souls. Caught an uber
              to Vesuvio. And holy shit I'm only finding right now that it was
              an old haunt for Jack Kerouac, Neal Cassidy et al. I even noticed
              the Kerouac poster but didn't make the connection. Truly... all
              roads lead back to wincest. It's a really gorgeous place with
              confusing restrooms and a decent Moscow Mule. At this point the
              Screw is taking effect so my recall will be blurry from this point
              forward.
              
              We decided to hop around Chinatown. Stopped by Lion's Den - always
              a must, did unspeakable things to each other on the playground, I
              think we went to Castro after, a bald man asked for a threesome
              and after being denied asked to lick my feet (I obliged but the
              rancid odor of my toes drove him off), danced in Beaux, flashed my
              tits without care, made a friend and went to the afters with him
              (I don't remember his name so I called him Adonis the entire
              night), flashed my tits some more, watched unspeakable things in
              the darkroom, and almost dropped dead from exhaustion. By 5 we
              were done and I was sitting on a couch trying not to fall asleep.
              BUT Jah and I had to tough it out til 6 when the bart opened.
              Finally I'm home at 7 and pass out immediately. It was a great
              night... except I lost my new lip gloss -_-
              
              
            
            
          Chill day with pool boys. We were supposed to watch this MMA(?) match at Shiv's place but ended up playing poker and cards the whole time. I had no expectations for what his apartment looked like but it somehow met them. B+D gifted us cigars, have yet to figure out how to smoke it... will update with progress.
            
          
              Another trip to the ballet~ A wonderful girls' day: Holiday
              Edition. Today featured Babygirl, Angel, and Mori. We got tickets
              to see The Nutcracker and even with Angel worrying that we'd be
              late we still missed the first 15 minutes oops. At least they
              didn't make us wait out in the wings until intermission. I've
              never seen The Nutcracker before and I'll just say... full of
              whimsy, very whimsical time. I was getting some yaoi vibes from
              the rat king and the general(?). Babygirl and I shared a fucking
              amazing chocolate cookie. 
              Afterwards we headed to the Fairmont to really bask in the city's
              holiday festivities. We passed by Union Square and it really took
              me aback how beautiful it all was. Angel was decked out in Lolita
              so there were some cute moments of people asking to take pictures
              with her. Afterwards we headed to this upscale bar with amazing
              views of the city and some cool naval history. I felt brave so I
              ordered an old fashion for the first time and honestly I could
              picture it being my signature in a few years, but for now I cannot
              handle all that liquor TT. Shit had me sloshed. I felt quite manly
              and mature but I'd still like to appreciate drinking like a
              twenty-something while I still can à la chasing shitty tequila
              with Diet Coke.
              
Final stop was a korean place where we wined and dined
              on tteokbokki and soju. We indulged in girl-talk, I think I fell
              asleep at the table, and we called it a night.
            
              
            
              
            
          Recently, my friend died. I met him through the pool hall because he would come in to play league every week. I only saw him on those Mondays for those couple of months but we bonded quick. He took me to a range and taught me how to shoot my first gun. I still have one of the bullets in my purse. I have "Dwayne" our target hung up in my room. A few months later he didn't show up on Monday and I thought he was just busy. Never saw him again and it just. fucking sucks. I really, really regret not saying yes more when he asked to hang out. Or not having more "last" cigarettes together before we went home. He spoke crazy fast. He drank Guinness. He always had a dirty joke to tell. Miss ya dude.
            
          I honestly drgaf about LSD and the Search for God but Angel and my sisters wanted to go because they're shoegazers. The venue had the most ass sound system; someone wanted the reverb cranked all the way up and the band was so loud that the vocals were entirely drowned out. Sidenote the lead singer looked like the long lost brother of a regular at work. I told him about it and he looked so happy. I loved the opener Jjuujjuu but came to find out they have a grand total of 8 songs on streaming -_-
              
            
          
              Shiva invited me to his friend Mike's birthday party. More context
              on Shiva: he plays pool, he's my work bestie, he is a 64(?) year
              old Sri Lankan man, he's a gambling addict and a blow fiend, he's
              the insane uncle I never had. Walking into Mike's house two things
              are evident: 1. This guy has taste 2. This guy has the money to
              fund his tastes. Absolutely beautiful cottage style exterior with
              a 100-something year old oak in the backyard and inside there's
              beautiful dark oak everywhere and a piano from the early 18th
              century that was a big star in the local music scene. And wow, the
              bathroom, I was agape. 
Mike's sons are in a jazz band
              and they performed a set that was seriously bonkers. I was pretty
              intimidated walking in because everyone had at least 40 years on
              me and they were all cool and eccentric and classy. But thanks to
              a few white claws and some blow I soon loosened up. I conversed, I
              danced with the band, I danced with Mike, and I went home. Was a
              fun night. 
Not gonna upload pics of the inside of a
              person's house that's weird.
            
          
              Made the trek up to [place of former schooling and residence] with
              Babygirl to move the last of my stuff out. Or what I thought was
              the last of my stuff... I would be proven wrong a few months
              later. I showed her around downtown, got some poke nachos,
              thrifted a bit, introduced her to my roommates. Babygirl really
              liked the vibe of [school's town] and was like "Should I apply
              here? lol". And I love you but if you moved more than a mile away
              from me I would kill you and then myself. My favorite thing to do
              there was take a walk at sunset to this neighborhood full of cats
              and hang out with them until it got dark. I took her and we had a
              ball. 
              I spent what I think was the most depressed and lonely period of
              my life here but somehow I'm still nostalgic of it. Not of the
              bright and beautiful parts but the ones that were hurting and
              horrible. I used to go on walks in the middle of the night and
              just hope that...
            
              
              
            
          
              In retrospect I wish I journaled more during this time because it
              would've been a trip seeing how green and bright-eyed I was
              compared to the haggard creature I've become. That sounds so
              ominous but - you'll see. I stopped updating my site for (heh...)
              five months because I've been... consumed... subsumed...
              masticated and swallowed... by the world of pool.
              
              In March I got a job at a pool hall, totally random online
              listing; it was either here, the bingo place across the street, or
              Din Tai Fung. And really I'm so grateful to past me for choosing
              right. Typical things: interview was norms, training was chill,
              then started working like a big girl all by myself. I started
              shooting pool a lot. Like a lot a lot. Like end an 8 hour shift
              and stay for 5 hours after. And I've had a lot of teachers
              (quality of instruction varied greatly). And I started getting to
              know regulars and coworkers. I've met a lot of really
              great/fun/cool/weird people from seriously all walks of life. For
              fear of sounding too superior I won't say I don't relate to people
              my age, it's just that I don't find many of them interesting. I
              just... really enjoy hanging out with crazily different kinds of
              people (though everyone is above 25 and 95% are guys). (And
              actually yeah my big gripe about pool is that there's so few
              women.)
              Quick aside: I didn't consider myself attractive until about a
              year ago, but wow working at a pool hall has inflated my ego to a
              point it's a little concerning. Ohohoho there are indeed a few
              perks that come with being young and pretty. And YES I know about
              that double-edged sword and YES I did have a brief crisis over it
              a few months ago. 
              Anyways I have a lot of people I can genuinely call my friends
              now, quality real steel friends. But that's not what's really
              important. When it comes down to it... can I play pool? The answer
              is... complicated.
            
          
              Another punk show... getting a taste of the scene, and in this
              case getting a case of the extremes. Angel asked if I wanted to go
              to another show since I dug the first so much - of course I said
              yes. I brought along my little sister (many know her as Baby)
              because she's kinda sorta I suppose alt-ish.
              
              To set the scene: Baby and I emerge from the underground parking,
              slight drizzle, piss smell but very typical for the area. We turn
              and walk into the venue, which is an art gallery, not DIY, and
              actual one... hm. Where the hell are the amps and the fifteen year
              olds throwing haymakers at each other. We follow the signs leading
              down a corridor, open a huge industrial looking door, and voila.
            
            
              Just a huge empty room, barren, black curtains. I swear it felt
              like we were lab rats in some sort of hypnoaudioaggro experiment.
              And it was a fun time. Bands were awesome and the guys were just
              whaling on each other in the pit.
              
Most surreal part of the night was in between sets
              when everyone would rush out for a smoke, there'd just be a
              shitton of these hella edgy looking kids milling around in a
              downtown art gallery amongst the "cultured". Like, the contrast
              was so stark it would be too on the nose as a joke. 
              Also I experienced an ultimate sister betrayal from Baby but I
              shall not speak of that (fucking bitch).
            
              
                  
                  Kurt Salinas, But I'm so Sweet & Tasty. 2023
                  My favorite piece in the gallery
                
          
              Chinese new years weekend... go! 
              Friday: 
Angel and I went to an electronic show in SF and no
              not Illenium or EDC but the shit they play to CIA captives to make
              them go insane. I physically can't listen to whatever genre this
              is sober and/or alone in my room but buzzed and in a sweaty crowd
              it's so fun! It was my first time going to anything like this but
              now I should keep an eye out for events. And really I was only
              slightly buzzed for most of the night (although I got my poppers
              cherry popped! Yipeeee!) but it was still awesome. I love to dance
              and I love to be apart of Movement. Watching people (many of them
              strange looking) completely immersed in themselves and moving to
              the music (really funny seeing everyone jumping up and down but
              completely out of sync). The last set was nonstop bangers and
              Angel and I were just /in it/ (with the assistance of [redacted]).
              
              Saturday:
              Rest. For once CNY fell on a weekend so my mom and I just knew it
              would be wall to wall packed and honestly we didn't want to deal
              with the parking, especially walking in my nine inch heels. Though
              I wish I wore ao dai this year. 
Sunday: Another show
              but this time it was punk... think the term is HXC and I went with
              Angel and her friend Mori. Another very drastic first for me, big
              leaps! This show was even better! In the thick of the crowd you
              just get shoved around and pummeled to no end and there's sweaty
              white guys with long hair crushing you. I got kicked in the legs,
              I got nearly trampled, I got kicked in the face, my top (wholly
              held together by a combination of string and safety pins) popped
              open, I stage dove (many times), no idea what the lyrics were but
              I screamed along anyways. 
Monday: 
              A quiet day of chua hopping with my mom. Took lots of cutie
              pictures of her, prayed, ate chua food - yummers, went to the
              cemetery, prayed, looked at old gravestones with her.
            
              
            
            
          
              If there's one thing I didn't know I needed to check off my
              bucketlist, it's going to the three story Applebee's at the wharf.
              
              Backtracking... I hang out with Mimi and her wife a lot and it's
              made me come to a realization: I love being a third wheel. I get
              to enjoy all the tralala and teehee of love while staying at arms
              reach; it's an ideal situation for me honestly. Actually an ideal
              situation is to be in a throuple except I don't engage in the
              couple-ing nor the coupling. Ok so went to sf with the wife to
              pick up Mimi, then sandwich, perfume, ciggy, sex shop to see a
              vibrator museum (to my dismay it was more literal vibrators than
              the fun kind), and the wharf. My god do I love the Musée
              Mécanique. There's no other place that encapsulates my soul as
              well as it (only thing I would add is a smoke shop in the
              backroom).
              
              I love Applebee's I don't CARE what anyone says. 2 for 25 with a
              like $7 cocktail the size of a fishbowl cmon man. And yes I nearly
              got sloshed. The view was beautiful. It's raining and the streets
              are empty and the lights are reflecting every way and we're
              sitting above the huge ass Applebee's sign. And then we trekked
              that long long road to the pier. Keep in mind the rain's falling
              harder and I'm in half-broken Mary Janes and a dress. And we get
              the the pier and there's that horribly beautiful roar of the
              ocean. Just thunderous like you wouldn't believe. It's freezing
              and wet and no one's around but the lights are still brilliant and
              it's like walking through Disneyland in a dream. And the people
              that pass by I'm asking them Are you real? Are you real? Are you
              real?
            
              
            
          Been doing a lot of antiquing lately now that I finally know where to go. Against my better judgement - who am I kidding I was totally down - I bought not one but two porno mags. One day I'll have big boy money to buy all the crazy shit I want, like a loveseat... or a gun. I think growing up in the tech mecca has come to make me disdain anything new and shiny. Something in me wants roots deep in the ground. I want ancestors who touched this soil and to have a necklace my great great grandmother wore. I remember being a kid at the cemetery and seeing tombstones from the 1800s and just aching.
              
            
          December was largely spent with my scattered friends. Honestly I missed them so much I was dreading the days they left. Got covid. Recovered. A lot of days passed with Yuuri, lot of bars, freezing movie dates (ew), a quick jaunt around a museum - standing at the Gates of Hell, a really impressive Tom Ford salesman, and of course some crossdressing. Puzzlemania has hit the twin towers i.e. Kay and I. And we're together again and I love her. A long awaited Killua reunion. A long awaited CAKE, a singing CAKE - well I already knew but karaoke is fucking killer. And I love them. I wish I could take a snapshot of us together in school and now, and print them both out on vellum and overlay them. Hold it up to the light.
              
            
            
          Today was a girls' trip. K told me she has a friend (A) that reminds her a lot of me so we all had a little outing together. This could've gone one of two ways: we get along well and can jib jab about all the lovely likes we share, or it turns into a Black Swan/Hegel moment and we try to kill each other with mirror shards until the victor stands triumphant over the prone form of the other. Heh thankfully it was the former. I think I'm the black swan to her white; I'm a bit more mean and blunt whereas she's very sweet. We bought snacks and cigs (Marlboro reds), browsed (admired some fetuses, fetusi?), watched Fallen Angels (Wong Kar Wai loves his crazy bitches), and ate Pakistani food. Grateful for being able to hang out with K again it's been a long time. Props to A for being a real trooper in her big ass car driving around SF TT. And YES I am a neener neener outfit repeater!!!!
              
            
            Chews: Mango Tajin and peachrings
          
              Another day of adventure: Holiday Edition. Why is it when I rush
              my makeup my base turns out perfect -_- . Himi and the wife picked
              me up so we could go thrifting and CITP. I must say I pulled a
              last minute killer outfit out of my ass (we will not acknowledge
              the shoes).
              
              I swiped some accessories. There was this really tempting …wall
              decor? but I had to pass. And this stylish old lady said she loved
              my outfit (and she said it in a very flattering way why thank
              you).
              
              Went to CITP, got some choco, and explored. I felt very holiday
              Barbie all dressed up but the stares got uncomfortable after
              awhile. And I was fucking freezing. I bumped into a woman and she
              turned to me and paused and said I was beautiful and her friends
              were complimenting my dress. And this loser looking skater guy was
              staring me down all coomer-like and said I was beautiful; I
              would’ve been flattered if he was less fucking awkward about it
              TT. It’s a little too early for CITP so the festive atmosphere
              isn’t in the air yet but it was a nice throwback.
            
              
            Word: Angel
          
              Today was a day to catch up with old friends. Had dimmy with T and
              boba that was 70% pearls -_- . We went on a thrift store crawl
              while we waited for everyone else. Christ curated stores are
              fucking expensive. I prefer to shift through shit for a good deal
              I’m a pro shit shifter. I get that you’re paying extra for people
              to pick the clothes for you but that’s limiting your personal
              style no? Like the main artistic merit of thrifting is that it
              forces you buy for you and not for trends.
              
              We hung out at E’s after and played with his pitiful, pathetic
              dog. And K and C were ready so we pregamed and had hotpot yummers.
              Honestly drinking and hotpot don’t mix: face burning up,
              overstimulated from the noise, alc makes my appetite wobbly.
              Either way it was fun to see everybody together again :P.
              
              Went back to E’s and did my costco puzzle. Amazing quality btw
              10/10 recommend. I hate puzzles with lots of empty sameness but
              this one was packed side to side with goodies.
              
              To finish the night E and I watched FNAF in his car. I’ll post the
              mini review here: It’s ironic how the one horror movie that won’t
              be ragged on for using “cheap” jump scares because that’s
              literally the premise of the franchise … doesn’t have good jump
              scares. The plot was tight and cohesive, my big caveat being that
              William’s motivations as a villain weren’t explained AT ALL. I
              know the fans were already waiting for him to show up but from a
              critics perspective it’s a huge plot hole. Good child actors,
              especially the blond kid. Animatronics were…almost scary. Bonnie
              is sexy… is Bonnie a shota since he has the soul of a kid?
            
              
            Word: Catamite
          
              Unexpected turn to my Thanksgiving. After the required family
              party E picked me up to do our bestie things. It was funny how our
              night swung to such different sides of the spectrum. First we got
              boba at [redacted], a bastion for the Asian youth and really
              experienced the culture of our people. And after I was like ….wait
              we can drink legally now and I chose this local dive bar. We
              walked in and there were a bunch of grizzled men and tattoos and a
              butch lesbian. And there was someone singing metal karaoke. The
              thought only occurred to me when I got home but it was very
              Deancore (eheheh). We scurried to the back like little mice; it
              was evident we didn’t fit in. I ended up summoning the courage to
              order a drink (kinda, I needed a lot of help) and do karaoke (Good
              Times, Bad times - Zeppelin).
              
              Crazy funny how we didn’t get carded once even though we looked
              hella nervous and I literally had to ask a guy how to order a
              drink (he paid for me yay). It was probably some kind of reverse
              psychology: no one underage would act so blatantly lost; I’m
              pretty sure if we weren’t legal and tried to act like we knew what
              we were doing we would’ve been carded immediately. E was too pussy
              to sing with me but I sang a duet with a friend I made. I am
              honestly so great at making friends in these kind of settings. It
              helps that I’m a pretty (enough) girl but I like to think I bring
              a good dose of charisma to the table. 
              Compared to the downtown club/bar scene the crowd at the dive bar
              felt very close knit and welcoming I fucked with it.
              
              Although… times like these I really wish I were a boy. Being a
              friendly girl really opens a lot of doors for me but I hate having
              the romantic/sexual aspect of male interactions looming over me.
              Like fuck I just want to be friends. At this point I’m good at
              ignoring it so I can have a fun time but there’s still that threat
              of coldness and to a scarier extent violence at the back of my
              head.
              
              Either way it was a fun night. It was like when Spongebob and
              Patrick were trying to get into the Salty Spitoon when they
              should've been at Weenie Hut Jr's. I might come back again I feel
              like in a lot of ways that scene would suit me more than the
              clubbing scene.
            
              
            Drink: Vodka Sour
          Had to beg and plead with my sister to come to the museum with me. We had enough time to get through all the exhibits (small place) but none for the garden. And her delicate ass was so hungry we had to leave for food. I'll just have to go again. Haven't been here since high school, and haven't actually been inside since elementary maybe. I mostly go to art museums so nothing is older than say... the 1800s, so being up close and personal with artifacts from like 5,000 years ago was pretty mind bending. They added another mummy since I was there last. I would hate to be an ancient Egyptian noblewoman and spent all this time and money on my tomb, only to be put on display and gawked at for eternity in an airconditioned glass box. And here I will perpetual the gawkage by putting a picture in this entry:
            Also we both had on ludicrously clacky shoes so we were tiptoeing the whole time. What we sacrifice for style...
              
            
              To finish the day we had sushi and she had a matcha smoothie.
              
              Pharaoh: Akhenaten
            
          
              A thrift trip today. This time to the far away land of [redacted]
              for their Savers. When the Savers closed in my city it was like
              when those coal mining towns slowly decay. The general store
              closes, unable to compete with the Walmart 30 miles down the
              mountain road. Old folks living off pittances of pensions, swaying
              and creaming on their porches. The young move away to the concrete
              crystal metropolises on the coasts while their fathers keep
              toiling away under the silt and rock. Where it’s dark and dark and
              dark and dark…. That happened metaphorically to me.
              
              Anyways the prices were insane and weirdly inconsistent. But I
              picked up a few gems that will be updated in the Dollhouse. I was
              peer pressured into buying things I really wanted. No matter, I
              can punish myself now. I consider it self-flagellation - oh that’s
              hilarious when you google self-flagellation the first result is a
              crisis hotline. Imagine picking up the phone to counsel some monk
              in an abbey on the Argentinian mountainside. Hm the image of SF is
              pretty erotic… but only done in private and seen through kind of a
              vouyeristic lens. If it’s in public I’d be like jeez get a load of
              this guy. Anyways… got a really cute asymmetrical lace skirt, boho
              sweater, and fur mini coat. And my trinkets of course. I didn’t
              even glance at the book aisles I knew I wouldn’t have the
              strength. 
Turns out Himi’s been betraying me for a long
              time… need to send her to AA. 
Gay people are insane and
              evil.
              Need to try out transformers porn again.
              
              Word: Portcullis
            
          
              I went to see Faye Webster with my sister tonight. I'm not fan per
              se but I knew a good amount of songs and it's never a bad time to
              enjoy a show. The traffic was absolute hell getting there but so
              clean and breezy going back. I'll never get over how beautiful
              that theatre is and the crowd was filled with beautiful girls too.
              I've started to notice that venue staff have the best customer
              service, every time each worker has been so kind and congenial.
              
In other news... hm... I've been feeling myself retreating.
              I lot of days it feels like body is weighed down with rocks. (I
              had this idea of a torture method where the victim is laid over a
              metal grate and gets gradually pressed down through it, like those
              kitchen contraptions people cut onions with. If its a communal
              punishment then some flat surface can be laid over them and people
              can toss stones on top. And there'd have to be an "executioner" to
              arrange the stones so the weight is distributed equally. Or a
              press would be set over them and people can pay a fee for it to
              lower further and further.) 
This scene keeps playing in my
              head where I'm laying in a clam shell and it slowly closes over me
              and I'm viewing over this omnisciently like a dream. I want to be
              shiny again. 
              Word: Cruelty
            
          
              Halloweekend update~ Went out with Himimi and her boywife to go
              and bar and things and I fucking forgot my ID Himi + wife if you
              read this I'm sorryyy. Anyways sometimes I really do doubt myself
              but no I am extremely alluring and beautiful (drunk me at least)
              and men desire me...carnally. And so many pretty girls to talk to
              which is always a boon for me. 
Will recount the rest of the
              night in snapshots: Moscow Mule, Julius Caesar, PSA - Don't do
              ketamine for the love of god, Red 40 vomit, free Tacobell. Also I
              was a kid's ladybug costume from goodwill. It's quite shameful
              actually - every year I'm very adamant about diying my costume but
              I just couldn't bring forth the motivation this year ://
              
              Cutest couple: Maid and Butler
              Word: Exigency
            
          
              Today and yesterday was the book sale. Got held captive by the
              clerk but he also started my Faulkner journey. GGM and Cormac
              McCarthy? How could I resist his alluring pull. And this whole
              time I've been avoiding him, in part bc of his association with
              Hemingway. Woe is me tho got there too late and missed the
              Faulkner collections I saw yesterday. People were lugging books by
              the crate into their cars I had a heart attack. 
              
              Stood on the wayside while drama was sorted, got a moderate
              shitfull of books, and had 1/2 a boba and popcorn - in conclusion
              a good day.
              
              Movie: The Exorcist Believer
              Word: Portmanteau
            
          
              There's a cat that's been coming to our balcony. I named him
              Clawde... bit of a poor decision since I already named my friend's
              animorphic thingy Clawdius. He likes to come and let out this
              really plaintive meow. Like "meeeeaaaho".
              
              
              Sometimes at night I want to walk all the way out to the fields
              and stay still and quiet until morning.
              
              
              A lot of what I've been reading is centered on retrospect - of
              memory and archives and looking back and bringing those things
              forward to you. Walking into the room after the gun went off. I
              don't have anything particularly profound to say, I just love how
              history and memory turn into this mangled mess through time, over
              millenia or a few years it doesn't matter. 
              Favorite Word: Sibilance
            
          
              For a while I've wanted to make a site to curate all my knicks and
              knacks. The catalyst was fiddling with my laptop settings and now
              it's running near lightspeed. Though actually coding everything is
              going glacier because I'm just so damn indecisive. Ironically I'm
              struggling more with idea than execution. 
              
              Favorite Word: Ormolu